Chapter 5
I'm in awe at the speed at which time is going. I'm not entirely surprised, as it is written. But in the same moment it's going by really fast; like next month is June, and everybody knows that after June the year practically finish.
- All a unnu who a prep fi summer come fi show off unnu summer body and ting, avoid me. Thanks. -
No but seriously time a move really fast and it occurec to me that a lot has happened in these last 4 months of my life. One day I'll talk about all it, but for now I'll just say how I truly never expected to be going in the direction I'm in right now. Honestly you could not tell me ten years ago that at *this* age I'd be right *here* right now. Never.
It's funny really. Growing up we hear our parents or older family members and friends talk about life being hard and how dem haffi struggle and we just brush it off. We never imagined ourselves going through what they went through because all we knew was that what they talked about did sound like a struggle and we didn't want that to be our lives. So we dreamt up this great and fancy life in our heads and held on to it for as long as we could. Then one day, without warning, you are an adult, and life - REAL life - hits you with those "Bitch you thought!" and those "Ah! I think the fuck not you trick ass bitch!" moments and knock you flat on your ass. You (and I) are confused, cause girl this ain't what I (thought) know! I KNOW I'm supposed to be *here*, *here*, *here* doing *this*, *this*, *this*; not trying to figure out my life and purpose and working in retail and service for minimum wage dealing with these ugly ass annoying ass people on a DAILY basis to be able to have a box to sleep in and food in my belly and fare on my metro card. That isn't what I signed up for Bob! This ain't what AppleCare told me. So right. It isn't what we - you and I - wanted, but it's what we got; shattered dreams, anxiety, depression, addictions, confusion and shitload of responsibilities and bills and taxes and stupid people and clothes that don't fit right.
With all that said, that's basically where these last four months - hell three years - have had me. Waking up is hard kids. Try not to rush into it if you don't have to.
I think I came here to talk about it now being May - insert thinking emoji -
So,
For this new month of May, I pray that all of the blessings continue and that all of my steps remain faithfully guided. I hope that I may finally be able to reap the fruits of my HARD labor and see my goals come to life.
I hope you reading this also have great month. I hope you make the best of your time and work towards something great. Despite the challenges that may arise, keep on keeping on!
Alright! That's it!
Until next month my loves!