Squatting
I like to think that I've been living on my own now for a while. I say this because I moved out of my mother's house around 4/5 years ago and I have been between places to stay while I went to school and worked. Granted I'm not completely on my own, but I'm away from my mother and out here trying to fend for myself. I was sold a dream and I went blindly out on a limb. With goals in mind, I went with the idea and told myself I'm going to do my best to make things happen so I can officially stand firm on my own two feet.
Initially things were good until they weren't anymore and I had to pack up and go.
Reason being, the same people who were very welcoming and inviting me into their home, turned sour and wanted me out. I won't dive into the specifics of the shit that happened, because honestly I'm still recovering from some of those experiences and I'm trying my best to put them all behind; but I've always wondered why it was that people invite you to come and live with them if they know they can't have people in their face for too long. Like why extend a helping hand?
Experience has taught me this and I've said it time and time again, that the novelty of you being around wears off after a week. After a week or two and the excitement of you being around is gone, you need to be gone as well.
Now while you're there, the fun part is that you are constantly reminded that you are the outsider and that it is not your house and that you don't belong there.
Usually they're a number of ways in which these messages are delivered. From my experience, the suble approach is mostly used. The messages are delivered with the stinkest of attitudes and the messengers tend to find fault with everything that you do. They never say what it is to your face, but they drop little hints; like making signs/posters, talking about you to somebody and pretend they're not, catty Twitter/Facebook posts, saying slick things at the most random of times and so on and so forth.
I'm the type of person where I would rather die than bother anyone for anything. I don't ever want to feel like I'm being a bother or a burden to anybody, not even my own mother. I go out of my way to make sure that I'm not in your way or in your face at all and I was told that this is an issue to people.
So I try and stay out of your way, only to end up being in your way anyway because you got issues...?
I don't get it, but that's the way it is.
I feel like I can't complain about anything because I'm the charity case so to speak. I'm the one in need and they're the ones with the help. Therefore I'm the one who has the chew the chalk and call it a day because I don't want the drama.
I don't know how much more I can take so I'm working on getting somethings done and over with so that I can get the fuck up on outta here. It's taking longer than I initially anticipated, but I know it'll happen soon (not like a Fenty soon; because only God knows if and when that is).
So until then.